NE Thailand

Before I begin this blog entry, I would like to make special note of a few things. Most of you know by now that the events since the last entry have been very impacting on me. Much has happened, and not all of it easy. I will need to use multiple entries to write about these things. Further, the events have back stories that explain their importance to me. Be prepared for tangents after every turn, for if I simply lay out the events in a time line, you will not be able to comprehend the significance they had upon me, so stick with it, and happy reading.

Once over the border from Laos and in to Thailand, I immediately noticed a difference in the attitudes of the people and how wonderful it felt to be back in Thailand! Although we were traveling through Laos for nearly a month, and while being a great experience, I really had missed Thailand. Throughout the duration of time I spent in SE Asia, I had spent the largest quantity of time in Thailand, becoming accustomed to the language, the street signs, the music, the food, the style of markets, the transportation, the people...it had become my home away from home, and it was easy for me to live and get by here. It was sure nice to be back again!

Leang and I took a 6 hour bus ride from the border town near Laos to Korat, Thailand.

But before I delve into our journey further, let me give you all a bit of background information on Leang (and traveling with him), so while reading this, your head won't spin as much. That photo of him I had taken in Chiang Mai during meditation. Guess he's better at it than me...there I was taking photos, when I'm supposed to be meditating too! Hahaha! But honestly, I think I've become quite good at it now.

Leang first became a novice in Cambodia, where he studied diligently, and was eventually ordained as a monk while only 19. Once a monk and seeking further education, he left Cambodia to move to a rural village in north-eastern Thailand, called Bonpong. The temple that he moved to is Wat Bonpong, and by bus it is 30 minutes south from Korat. He lived there for a little more than a year, and then to finish high school, his studies took him to Korat, which is the second largest city in Thailand. After studying in Korat, and having a desire for higher education, he moved to Chiang Mai where he currently resides at Wat Phan Aon, and now attends the Buddhist university of Wat Suan Dok.

This is Leang walking across the lawn at Wat Suan Dok, back in Chiang Mai.


Wat Bonpong, located in a small village, is where we were headed to help the Abbot with Songkran; the Buddhist New Year festival.

While on buses, monks are required to sit in the back row of the bus as to protect them from lay people bumping into them while walking through the isle-way. If the back row of the bus is full, they are seated in a window seat toward the back of the bus; next to a man in the isle seat. It is forbidden for them to sit next to a woman. Because of this, Leang and I are always separate while on buses. Sometimes it's a short ride; maybe 3 hours, sometimes its longer; maybe 10 hours. We usually just pretended that we don't know each other altogether because it's easier this way, as to prevent people giving him critical glances. Leang cares greatly what people think of him, as do all the monks; and by us behaving in this manner he is able to stay more relaxed and peaceful. The community support and high regard for the monks allows them to continue the life style they have chosen, thus the lay people's acceptance is crucial to them. Monks just aren't used to people getting upset with them or around them. I tried to protect him from as much of that pollution as I could while traveling with him. Remember in the last blog I mentioned me haggling with the tuk-tuk and taxi drivers over the cost of things while I would make Leang (and the novices) go for a walk? This was the best option for those situations no matter how much he wanted to help me. He always worries about me, they all do. However, those of you who know me, also know that I am strong and opinionated. I try to do what is right and I try to look after those whom I care about. Monks simply don't understand why someone would treat them poorly, lie to them, or cheat them. They are not accustomed to ill manners, bad tempers, and criticism. Call it naive if you want, but I like to call it honest and trusting. Further, monks do take taxis and tuk-tuks to and from their temples to school, or special ceremonies. Often they walk but if they do need to take a taxi, they try to travel with other monks. In cities there are usually devote Buddhist taxi drivers that park near temples and will provide reasonable or reduced prices for the monks and often free transportation. They live in those cities, and most likely they worship and practice meditation at that temple that they park their taxis near. However, while traveling, a monk is out of his element, and the poor things have no idea what fair prices of things are. For example, one morning, I walked up to Leang trying to buy noodle soup at a stand in Laos and they were asking for 20,000 Kip, which is roughly 90 Bhat (Thai)!!! In Thailand the noodle soup is 20 Bhat; roughly 50 cents, so this price was astronomical! I couldn't believe it. I looked at him said no and to follow me. He did, and I took him to another restaurant where the owners made good merit and he ate for free. The entire day he kept mentioning how terrible it was for the first people to try to do that. He was shocked, he had no idea someone would do that and try to trick him that way. I was shocked he didn't understand that in Asia, the people trying to sell you things are trying to get as much money outta you as possible, while we are trying to get the goods for as cheap as possible. He had no clue. So I always make him go for a walk while I do the dirty work. It's a lay persons business, no need for a monk to get involved.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

Since we travel in this fashion where we are separate; when the bus stops for restroom breaks or food, I will buy Leang something to drink and make a good merit offering in the normal customary way you offer something to a monk. I buy things like this for him because it is looked down upon for a monk to purchase things aside from water; it is assumed that they get what they need at their temples. Traveling is hard on monks, they only can eat 2 times per day and lunch is finished before noon. Usually lay people will make offerings to them of food and water, but if the bus stops late for lunch, they cannot eat. Thus when it stops, and I know Leang is hungry or thirsty I buy him something besides water; something that has calories in it like soy milk, or juice. However, often was the case, it would be Pepsi because he really likes it, and then I wouldn't feel so bad eating all the delicious foods just a few rows ahead of him at all hours of the day.

So point being, we decided before leaving Chiang Mai that if there wasn't another tourist, or other monks with us where we could speak publicly in a group, then its best if we behave as if we don't know each other while in public.

Leang sucked at this by the way!

He worries about me too much…take the Myanmar story of how all the monks called me endlessly during my visa run trip…now amplify that by 1 million and you may start to understand how Leang tries to be in charge of situations and worries obsessively. Because after all…he is a man and men have a hard time believing that a woman can do just fine on her own-just ask my dad how he feels about me being in Asia so long! Hahaha. Leang would get comfortable in the fact that he knows many Thai and Lao people don't speak English well enough to understand everything he says. He would be in the back of the bus and if I turned around and nonchalantly glanced at him to see how he is doing he would say something like 'So, how about you? Are you hungry? Are you going to get something at the next stop?'
I would bolt around so fast and pretend like he wasn't talking to me. I mean what am I supposed to do? Either I'm a badly behaved 'farang' that ignores a monk talking to her, or if I answer him, then I'm a naughty temptress 'farang' that the monk is being enchanted by. Leang and I had many talks about this. Either we are talking or we aren't while on the buses. Not this half-way, just-seeing-how-you-are-doing, business. It makes my head whirl!

Further, his questions always revolved around food, wondering if I was thirsty or hungry of if I wanted something. I swear, any time I talk to a monk in the evening time, the first thing they always ask is about dinner if I have eaten or not yet, or what it was I had. I'm pretty sure this is because they only have 2 meals a day; they don't decide what they eat; just whatever is offered. So when I talk to them and they ask these things it always makes me laugh, they must be hungry and they don't want me to feel that way too. All of the monks and novices I have met really are so very thoughtful and always concerned about me, but it’s still funny.

On this bus ride back into Thailand, I didn't have time to go to the ATM and withdraw Thai Bhat because we were scrambling to make the bus as it was; therefore all I had was Laos Kip.

The way it works when taking a local bus is that they make frequent stops and sometimes you don't stop for a scheduled meal like the VIP buses do. VIP buses don't stop frequently like this, so they have more flexibility in their schedules to stop for longer. On local buses, when the bus stops at a busy bus station, there are people that sell drinks and food and will get on the bus trying to sell these things to you. This is not organized by the bus station, just all individual vendors, but it's nice because you don't have to worry about hurrying to go buy something before your bus leaves, maybe with out you. Besides, if you have to go to the toilet, you usually only have time either to go to the toilet, or to go buy something to eat...not both. So these people enter the bus, walk down the isles selling things, then exit. Off to the toilet you go, and then when back on the bus and settled, you can now purchase something to eat, stress-free.

So what did Leang do??? Oh yeah....he totally did. He bought mango slices in the evening which of course made people look at him funny for buying food after lunch time. Then he shouted the 6 seats forward to me and said, I thought you must be hungry since you don't have any money so I bought you your favorite; mango. Then he asked a Thai guy to get up and give it to me. Really….he did that. Of COURSE the Thai guy can’t honestly say ‘no’ to a monk’s request, for that would be heinous on his Karma. Yeah...I'm sure it looks like we don't know each other now. REEEAAAL DISCRETE Leang. Further, how does my Karma look when a MONK buys ME food?!?! No big deal to him or I, on this trip we exchanged money back and forth between us depending on how we paid for things, but still...imagine what it looks like to everyone else?! I was humiliated.

On a side note while thinking about this situation I realize that pretty much every man important to me is always trying to make me fat! When my long-time boyfriend and I broke up a few years back I dropped a bit of weight off, he was always wanting to go out to dinner, and cook new recipes. It was wonderful, but I for sure lost weight after we ended things. (Chris-remember the lasagna we always made...oh MAN it was good!) Close guy friends also made me gain weight. Brad, I know you're reading this! When you and Kristen started dating, I lost like 5 lbs! (Mmmm...sushi nights!) My roommate Dan is probably one of the most enthusiastic people about food that I have ever met, especially my cooking. It is dangerous being home too much! And let's not forget dear old dad-amazing cook by the way, even while here in Asia he is telling me to hurry home so he can make me a home made cheesecake.....A CHEESECAKE!!!
Yuummmm!!!

But I swear...you all want to roll me off in a wheelbarrow!
Mmmm.....cheesecake...

So we finally arrived into the Korat bus station after dark, and when the bus was unloading there was a monk standing by the door waiting. As I approached the door to get off the bus I realized who it was...Jerry!!

This is a photo from Chiang Mai at the Sunday Dharma Talk that Leang gives. Some of his friends will often be guest speakers and this particular week it was Lout that was the orator. In this photo, Lout is kneeling down, and Jerry is the monk standing.

Jerry and Lout are also Cambodian monks from Chiang Mai, and they are both two of Leang's closest friends. Jerry has a brother he had been visiting not far from this area of Thailand. Leang spoke to him on the phone during the bus ride and asked if he wanted to come with us to the rural temple for a couple days. I was so surprised to see him; it was a completely random and wonderful to see a familiar and happy face. I really missed all the monks in Chiang Mai that I worked with, and it made me so happy to have him with us!

On a side note, throughout the time I spent in this part of Thailand, only these Chiang Mai monks and I speak English. My Thai is limited, so I relied on them heavily for translation and to teach me more Thai. If they weren't with me, I had to resort to cave-man style communication with the people around me...oh yeah....it totally happened MANY times! But slowly I was learning more and more.

Mmmm.....cheesecake...
Since it was too late to go to Wat Bonpong that evening, Leang phoned his other old temple in the city of Korat and we were granted permission from his old Abbot to stay there for the night. The monks that still live there from when Leang lived there were thrilled to see him again, and it was a very warm welcome for the 3 of us. The Abbot granted me permission to stay at the temple also, but in a separate building across the courtyard from the monk’s quarters. The room I stayed in was a small meeting room that is being used as a storage room currently. It was perfect for me!

The monks figured I must be hungry once Leang told them I hadn't been to an ATM and haven't had dinner yet. So they called a lay person that is a friend of theirs who lives by the temple, and sent him to the market to buy me food. They discussed all of this in Thai, and I had no idea what they were talking about. I just thought they were all talking about their travels and telling stories. I was in my own world just relaxing, until next think I knew a man comes up to where we are sitting by the monks rooms and they bustle around getting dishes and water and utensils for me and then arranging the food in front of me. And they stared at me in anticipation. I couldn't help but laugh....I wasn't even thinking about food, and here it was being put before me with out me having a clue! And guess what it was???? NOODLE SOUP! Woo-Hoo!! Thai style also! I'm telling ya, those monks sure look after me!

I always feel bad eating in front of them in the evenings when they cannot...but they say they're used to it, no big deal...but I still feel bad regardless.

The next day, I got some pretty strange/curious looks from the novices at this temple when I came out of the bathroom after having a shower. I was completely dressed, with my hair in a towel, but I’m sure they were wondering who I was or what I was doing staying there. Traditionally women are not allowed to stay at temples, unless given express permission by the Abbot. I was, but still it was for sure out of the ordinary, and it created interest.

After cleaning up and having breakfast (that the monks prepared for me) I then wandered up and down the streets to try and buy some clothing. After about an hour of searching and not finding much, I returned to the temple discontented. Jerry asked what was troubling me, and I simply said I needed to buy some clothes that were appropriate for the small village temple, since I know that it is old fashioned in customs. Leang, Jerry and some of the other monks began speaking for a bit, then, Jerry told me to pack up my bags and get ready to leave. I was so worried and tried to tell him I needed clothing first. He said he understands and to get ready. So I did.

Next thing I know, a man that is a dedicated Buddhist man and a friend of the monks there, his wife, and their small son had arrived with their truck. I was told to get in the cab of the truck, and then the 5 monks grabbed my bags, and climbed into the back of the pick-up. I had no idea where we were going since the family didn’t speak English, and the monks forget to translate for me sometimes, but I wasn’t too worried…this is how things often happened for me in Asia…you just go with it.
We pulled into a Tesco-Lotus parking lot, and we all got out of the truck.

The monks started walking into the store, and the woman motioned for me to follow them, so I did, and the family stayed in the truck. Tesco-Lotus is similar to Wal-Mart, it is a giant market with everything from food, clothing, household items. It’s big. Mostly in Thailand people shop in small markets, but sometimes when needing to buy a lot, they do go to the Tesco-Lotus. The monks walked to the women’s clothing sections and stood there looking at me expectantly. I said ‘Oh!’ and began looking around. As I wandered though the clothing, the small novice boy that is 13 began to follow me and pulled things off of racks that he approved of and wanted me to try on. So cute! The rest of the monks went to the other part of the store and bought things for us to take to the village like water, Leang wanted sunscreen (Now that he knows about it hahahaha!!!) orange juice, and Nescafe (very difficult for some reason to get real coffee in SE Asia). I settled on a few shirts, but I couldn’t seem to find pants/shorts that fit me properly. It’s really difficult in all over this region for farang women to buy pants that fit. If I were a bit thinner and shorter, no problem, but as a western woman, it is near impossible. I have looked in every country I have been to, and so far, I end up wearing the fisherman’s pants that I bought in Ton Sai for climbing in.

Another big issue was finding a bra. I really needed one, since I only had my sports bras and swim suit top. I had a regular bra that I bought while in Malaysia, but it has since been used to the max; it was time for a new one. After what seemed like hours searching through the isles trying to find one that fit my rib-cage AND chest…the sales girl informed me, in broken English, that they don’t have my size-I’m too big. She actually said ‘whan’ which in Thai means ‘fat’. I didn’t know what to do…I couldn’t find one in Laos either. If I wish I would have brought two things from home, it would be another pair of pants, and more bras. It’s near impossible to find them that fit properly here. I have been here so long, and have searched so many places, I’ve decided it’s impossible, and I gave up.
I purchased my things and we headed out again.

We stopped at a new temple being built off of the highway, it was a bit too touristy and commercialized for my tastes, but apparently has become popular with the community. It is huge...and beautiful, but it really seemed like a theme park style, not a Buddhist temple; the monk’s agreed.




After about an hour walking around the temple complex, the monks and I retreated to a far corner and took respit under the shade of a tree. In this photo, Leang and I are sitting with his old friend from when he lived at the temple in Korat before, and the young novice that helped me pick out clothing at the Tesco-Lotus.