Same, Same, but Different...

Phra Leang and I began our trip to Laos with a long bus ride to the northern border. It was just becoming evening when we arrived, and the border was closed for the day. UGH! I thought we would make it in time, but we arrived a few minutes too late.







So, Leang went to a temple that was in the town and asked the Abbot’s permission to stay there for the night, and I stayed at a near-by guesthouse.

Monks only eat 2 meals a day; breakfast, and lunch which is finished before noon. I am not a monk. I was hungry! So I wandered around the town, found a place to eat, dined solo, and then had my last Thai massage before heading to Laos the next day.



In the morning, we learned we had to take a ferry across the Mekong River that divides Thailand and Laos, and then arrange boat transportation to the next city of Pak Bang because there only one bus per day and it left early that morning.









Yeah...those are my bags in this shot. Climbing gear and travel gear....looks like quite a lot compared to the one small bag that Leang has in is lap. Since monks pretty much have nothing, they haven't much to bring. I think all Leang brought on this trip aside from toiletries was a towel and some books. Guess it saves a lot of time and money not having to figure out what to wear every day...not to mention how nice it must be not to worry about your stuff getting stolen while traveling.
















Let me not forget to mention that it was the smallest boat ever! Or maybe western people are just so much larger that it seems small to me and my big butt and long legs!










For example, look how peaceful Leang is sitting with his legs crossed, facing sideways with room to spare in his seat enjoying the ride, while I am sitting all bunched up in mine.







However, just when I thought I couldn't squeeze into my seat any more compactly, we stopped at a small village.





The boats operate as buses would; stopping at villages along the way when people need to get on or off. We picked up a few more people, and a Lao guy was instructed to sit next to me. He was a bit hesitant at first but I smiled and scrunched up as much as possible to make room for him.






Since monks aren't really supposed to be social and are expected to meditate during travel, I knew that my entertainment from Phra Leang would be minimal and I would otherwise have to make do with the landscape alone to keep me occupied.









I'm not complaining....much...I mean the landscape was breathtaking for sure. But it is still nice to have someone to talk to.






Basically I feel when traveling with a solitary monk it feels as if I am traveling alone whether it is on a boat, or bus, or taxi.
In Asian culture, if a monk is alone, it is not looked upon kindly for that monk to converse with a woman since women are a temptation to the monk who has devoted himself to a life without.



However, if there is more than one monk, or even a man that is a 'lay person' they can be more social and speak to a woman in a group. The only acceptation to this is if the monk and the woman are to sit at a table together, but it is not permissible to walk together, stand together, and eat together....basically everything. While traveling Leang and I got pretty crafty making friends with other tourist men that were on the buses with us. It allowed us to speak freely in public, and Leang really enjoys speaking to tourists about Buddhism and meditation. As for me, it was a bit more difficult to speak with farang men and not give them the wrong impression but having a monk with me made it easier.




Becasue I am a teacher, I am held at a higher level of respect than other lay people. I am someone that when lay people are introduced to me as a teacher for the monks, they bow to me and become very happy and ask many questions which Leang either translates or answers for me. Never have I been regarded in an ill manner by someone when they learn why I am with the monks. However, while traveling, lay people do not know why we are together or who I am; just that I am a woman, and he is a monk.

There is a level of etiquette that must be upheld for him, and while Leang and I used these rules more as a suggestion when in private or at a temple we still maintained a level of propriety, and upheld the cultural expectations in public. At the temples things were more relaxed since it is mostly the lay people that have the expectations on the monks, and the monks simply have a minimal lifestyle and understand their own devotions and values. They are more comfortable and therefore more social at the temples because there are more monks and they’re on their home tuff, while in the lay person world, they are vulnerable to temptations and misconduct.


So...there I was sitting alone next to a Lao guy that doesn’t speak English, and me, who doesn't speak Laos.

After sitting awkwardly close for awhile, I totally busted him with his camera trying to sneak and take a photo of me, the 'farang'.

I began laughing and took his camera quickly away. He looked worried for about half a second until I took a picture of us, as well as of him on the boat. I gave it back then took mine out and did the same.

So you can understand why I was so thrilled to see this random Lao guy be friendly and take interest in trying to communicate with me. You might be surprised how a little bit of friendliness in a foreign country is so much appreciated when you can't speak or read a lick of the language. We spent the next hour having a blast while we pointed out interesting things along the countryside for each other to look at, all with the primitive communication techniques of grunting, laughing, and over-exaggerating expressions to emphasize meanings.


The boat we took to Pak Bang was a speed boat and it's so funny, the Laos people wear motorcycle helmets while riding in the boat. Talk about freaking scary...yeah...I feel REAAAAL safe now! Before this trip, I had heard stories about how the locals all wear helmets so it must be really dangerous to take the fast boats and was strongly advised against it by practically everyone.







Without speaking the same language, I surprisingly learned a lot about the Lao guy. He lives in a small village in the surrounding mountains along the river, and was heading home after visiting family (he had a Lao-English dictionary in case you are wondering). I'm assuming he doesn't see many westerners in his normal life, because about 95% of 'farang' take the slow boat to Lunag Prabang from the border because of all the hype of it being dangerous.




Through pantomiming, I learned they don't wear helmets for the danger!!!!! I was wearing sunglasses because the wind was making my eyes water, and after about 10 minutes I put ear-plugs in due to the noise and wind in my ears. Then when the boat continued around the bend, we moved out from the shade of the trees and mountains, and into the sunshine. Boy, did we start cooking! As I began putting sunscreen on the Lao guy and all the other Lao people started nudging each other trying to see what I was doing. They had no idea why I was putting this white cream on. The Lao guy showed me his dictionary and we pieced together a sentence. He asked me if that cream is why my skin is so white and his is brown. I explained my skin is white because of my family's skin is this color, but the cream keeps the sun from making it more brown. They talked between themselves, and Leang hearing them said 'The guy next to you has never heard of sunscreen before,' and this made me so excited. I immediately got out the container and distributed it though out the boat. They didn't know how much to put on so it was pretty funny; they were basically white now too! What a mess! The cream when on faces, on hands, on anything exposed to the sun. One of them even made the mistake of putting it in his hair! Did I mention that Asians are notorious for wearing long pants, shirts and jackets in temperatures close to 100F and hellishly high humidity? Yeah...they hate the sun here. Check out the people's clothing in the photo above if you doubt me.

You would never see Asians on the beaches of the south...only farang sun-bathing. Even on motorbikes, they wear jackets backward to cover their arms and hands from the sun. While in Chiang Mai I met a guy from the States that lives there teaching primary school there, and he said that the children won't even go outside at recess to play because they are afraid of the sun and becoming browner. It's in their culture here, all the Asian models, musicians, and movie-stars have pale skin, yet all the villagers have dark skin. In the cities people even use whitening lotion, not regular skin lotion. But of course, these Lao villagers work on farms and are exposed to the sun alot, they just take precaution to reduce when they can.

After the sunscreen incident, I shared ear-plugs and an extra pair of sunglasses with them. Pretty soon all the people were sans helmets. It then occurred to me they wear them to protect them from the sun, insects, wind and noise. I asked the Lao guy, and he confirmed it with his dictionary.

The communication gap we often have with people from other cultures can be so hilarious to us individually. Here all of us 'farang' thought immediately that they must wear helmets to protect them from danger...in fact they do; danger from the sun. So the communication gap was bridged. And it may seem like they just don't know things the way we do, and perhaps reading this you may even have feelings of superiority for being a westerner and understanding something that seems so simple to you as sunscreen. But there were and still are many things about Asian culture that I don't quite get either. For example...Beetel Nut...and I know they thought it was hilarious while I tried to figure that one out. It's all cultural. Same, same, but different.


The view from the small town of Pak Bang. When we arrived we had to hike all the way up the mountain to reach this town from the river below. Let me tell you...it sounds all nice and adventurous, but don't forget that I had 3 bags,(totaling about 40Kg) while Leang had one small shoulder bag. Monks are not allowed to have luggage or help lay people carry things so I was utterly on my own! I almost wanted to just roll down the hill to the river below and take a swim since it was so hot and humid! Honestly though, it was such hard work in all that sand...just look at the photo! I kept sinking!


No...it wasn't as easy as it looks carrying my bags despite this photo; my medium sized bag with all my climbing gear is just out of the photo sitting by my feet. I think total I am carting around close to 50 Kilos. I weigh around 57 Kilos if that paints a more clear picture.






Once into the town a different Lao man also had to go to the bus station to check the time of the bus to his village. The three of us walked another 3Km to the bus station where we learned that the only bus of the day headed north left in the early morning. We would have to spend a night...so walk back to the town we did. Nothing like a nice work-out after traveling all day hahaha!


The next day, the 'bus' was totally a local bus. Like I said, most of the tourists splurge with the slow boat all the way to Luang Prabang which takes 3 days, and costs more. I figured this would be more fun since I had Leang to translate if I needed him to because Thai language and Laos language is very similar. Also, since it was not the normal tourist path, the bus made many many stops through small hill-side villages in very rural Laos. I'm sure most of these people hardly ever see a 'farang', because when they saw me, I sure got a lot of stares and curious glances.

The buckets with the white covers have live fish in them that these locals were taking from the river back to their villages. Most of the people also had bags with a variety of edible plants and vegetables that grow along the riverbanks. I tried a few pieces that were offered to me, but I have no idea what they were, but they were good.
















The bus ride was a chaotic 6 hours; I did everything in my power to get some rest for at least a little while regardless of the winding roads and frequent stops.






















We passed through many small villages, and picked up and dropped off many people: elderly men and women, small school children, farmers, merchants...it was really amazing to see this side of Laos.










After the long hours through the winding hill-side, we arrived at the northern town of Odumxay. Once there, we had to wait at the bus station for 4 hours to catch the bus to Luang Prabang.